Sadness...

So, I feel this blog wouldn't be an honest reflection of my life if I didn't include my recent drama. Everyone reading this blog knows about this, but this way I can get it out. I found out I was pregnant about a month ago, which was a shock at first, but then JW and I were really excited about it. When we went to have the ultrasound last week, to see how far along I was, since I had no clue without a last period to go by, there wasn't a heartbeat. I was so sad! I'm still haunted by the image of the little baby without a heartbeat, it was so precious and so tiny, but you could tell it was a little baby! So anyway, to make a long story short, it has taken 2 D and C's now and a night in the hospital last night due to an infection, but now I think I am on the road to physical and emotional recovery. Physically, I feel a ton better now that my fever is gone, I'm no bleeding, and I'm not in any pain. Emotionally, I feel fine at the moment, but sometimes at night I'm still traumatized by the ultrasound, so I know I will have my moments. But in the big scheme of things, I am very thankful for Jackson and JW and the hope that someday we will be able to add to our family if that is what God wants. And this experience has taught me even more to rely on God and I think it has drawn me closer to Him as well, which is always a good thing. My favorite Bible verse right now is 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers!