Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Delayed Gratification

I read some other blogs that mention that sometimes kids with ASD will tell you about what they remember or what they were feeling months or years after the event.  At the time, you may think the child didn't process or understand, but then they reveal later that was not the case.  Last night, Jackson let me into his world a little bit, which was such a blessing.
I've been struggling with him this last week, as he has been exhibiting some behaviors that are just, well, annoying.  And they irritate a sleepy mama who has little reserve left in her.  But with some prayer from some good friends, my reserve and patience is growing, thankfully.  But back to my story.
Last night I was putting Jackson to bed, as usual, when he whispered to me, "I saw Daddy cry before." 
Me: "When?" 
Him: "It was at our old house (2 years ago!!), he was sick (he was really sick, I remember that too btw).  You and Daddy slept downstairs and I slept upstairs and Savannah slept downstairs, and I didn't like sleeping upstairs all by myself." 
Me: "So what did you do?"
Him: "I came down way before it was morning to sleep with you."  (true, story of my life, ha!)
Me: "How did you feel?  Worried, scared, sad?"
Him: "Worried.  Love you, goodnight!"

It was precious.  Just an interesting reminder that his little brain processes things differently than mine.  It doesn't make his way wrong, just different.  It really helps me to remember this, that when I think he's not getting it, I'm wrong.  He's taking it all in, and I'll probably hear about it in a few years. 
I'm thankful for a glimpse into his mind when sometimes I feel like I can't reach him.