When my kids were babies, I expected to get pooped on, peed on, spit up on, leaked on by my own milk-producing organs, etc. Now that my kids are older, that all happens with a lot let frequency. I still have no privacy when dressing or showering or toileting. But overall, I can maintain my outfit for a few hours at a time.
This past weekend, Savannah was sick with her first vomiting illness. I feel blessed that I have had this long vomit-free (5 yrs both kids). But when Savannah walked to the side of my bed in the middle of the night, I picked her up, concerned, and she proceeded to vomit on my face/hair/clothes/bed/rug...and I just held her and let the vomit keep coming. I was so stunned I didn't really know what to do. Thankfully, that got better and I only had to deal with one more huge vomiting episode over the entire bathroom, but then it was followed by, "Mommy, I tried to make it to the potty but I didn't and that's okay." I'm glad you think that's okay, darling. But what are we talking about, exactly? Diarrhea. Good times. So pull-ups all weekend.
Finally, she is better.
I was all dressed for work yesterday, ready to go, when I spilled her applesauce all over me as I was putting it back into the fridge, since every day both kids INSIST on me putting out the applesauce but neither one will eat it. I had peach applesauce on every item of clothing I had on, including undergarments and shoes, and it even got into my hair. I got really angry, complaining about how unfair this is, I just wanted to go to work on time, yadda yadda... I did change my outfit but left my hair. I explained to my colleagues if they smell peach it's my awesome new conditioner. J.W. insisted that I relax, that I was overreacting. Of course I was, because it's not about the applesauce, dear husband. I just didn't want to be gross anymore due to my kids' bodily fluids or food items. I know other moms will sympathize. It's mommyhood in the trenches, we do it daily, but some days it's harder than others.
And I actually liked that peach smell, I'll have to look for some actual peach conditioner next time I'm out...