Mommy in the Trenches

When my kids were babies, I expected to get pooped on, peed on, spit up on, leaked on by my own milk-producing organs, etc.  Now that my kids are older, that all happens with a lot let frequency.  I still have no privacy when dressing or showering or toileting.  But overall, I can maintain my outfit for a few hours at a time. 
This past weekend, Savannah was sick with her first vomiting illness.  I feel blessed that I have had this long vomit-free (5 yrs both kids).  But when Savannah walked to the side of my bed in the middle of the night, I picked her up, concerned, and she proceeded to vomit on my face/hair/clothes/bed/rug...and I just held her and let the vomit keep coming.  I was so stunned I didn't really know what to do.  Thankfully, that got better and I only had to deal with one more huge vomiting episode over the entire bathroom, but then it was followed by, "Mommy, I tried to make it to the potty but I didn't and that's okay."  I'm glad you think that's okay, darling.  But what are we talking about, exactly?  Diarrhea.  Good times.  So pull-ups all weekend. 
Finally, she is better. 
I was all dressed for work yesterday, ready to go, when I spilled her applesauce all over me as I was putting it back into the fridge, since every day both kids INSIST on me putting out the applesauce but neither one will eat it.  I had peach applesauce on every item of clothing I had on, including undergarments and shoes, and it even got into my hair.  I got really angry, complaining about how unfair this is, I just wanted to go to work on time, yadda yadda...  I did change my outfit but left my hair.  I explained to my colleagues if they smell peach it's my awesome new conditioner.  J.W. insisted that I relax, that I was overreacting.  Of course I was, because it's not about the applesauce, dear husband.  I just didn't want to be gross anymore due to my kids' bodily fluids or food items.  I know other moms will sympathize.  It's mommyhood in the trenches, we do it daily, but some days it's harder than others. 
And I actually liked that peach smell, I'll have to look for some actual peach conditioner next time I'm out... 

First Day of Kindergarten!

Yesterday was Jackson's first half day of kindergarten, and today was his first full day.  He did great!  We got a good report both days.  I got the privilege to walk him to school today, and I was kind of in awe of the fact that my firstborn is in...elementary school!  He will have music class and gym!  He will eat in a cafeteria.  I had to buy him #2 pencils!  Craziness.  I miss pre-K.  At least Savannah's still there.  My little boy is growing up!  I am so proud of him.  He has come so far this past year.  His teacher, Miss Kilgo, is amazing, and I think this is going to be a HUGE year.  I can't wait to see all that he will do.  This may surpass the first year of his life in terms of milestones, we will soon see!  Congrats, little buddy, you rock in my book. 
Love, Mom/Mommy/Hey you  :)

Five Minute Friday: Last

Linking up from lisajobaker.com.

Last night I slept alone, without my babes, and heard the cries of my niece when she woke up hungry in the middle of the night.
Last week I delivered lots of babies and dealt with pregnant and postpartum mommies while my own sister was struggling to breathe as her heart was failing her (praise the Lord, she is fine now!!)
Last month we were in Michigan for vacation, visiting family and friends, missing and longing for what was, but very thankful for the friends and blessings we have in the present in North Carolina.
Last year we still lived in Michigan, finishing up our time there, thinking of good-byes and watching a lot of HGTV as we planned on buying our first house ever.

Looking back, it's so easy to see God's hand in every seemingly inconsequential detail of my life, and how He indeed worked everything for Good.  For His Good. 
And it makes me excited for the future, to see what adventures He has for me and my husband and my kiddos; what new places, which new friends, what new experiences. 
I'm happy today isn't my last.  I will enjoy every moment of this short-lived life on Earth.

A Humbling Experience...and a New Niece!!

Yesterday was one of those days...a day that I realized that I absolutely CANNOT do it all.  It's really too crazy to even put into words.  A series of decisions that resulted in a lot of tears and disappointments, feelings of guilt and condemnation, and ultimately, the realization that I NEED HELP.  From my lovely and gracious colleagues at work, from my husband who took over when I needed him to, from lovely girlfriends who spoke truth when I needed to hear it, from God above all, especially when the tears were falling and I couldn't see through them into reality. 
Today, when I awoke with my babes in arms, snuggled close, it was all better.
And when I looked at my phone and saw the smiling chubby cheeks of my new niece, Lilly, all was right with the world.
And I remembered the most important thing about yesterday was that my brave sister birthed a beautiful baby girl, and her husband stood by brave as could be to support them both, and I am truly blessed.

Five Minute Friday: Story

I like the idea that God is sitting up in heaven watching His story unfold in my life.  He already wrote it, a long time ago, before I was even born!  But sometimes, as He is watching, I imagine Him getting out His big eraser and erasing parts that may not fit, adding new parts that He likes better.  I am a work in progress.  The general plan is outlined, but as I make choices along the way, I'm helping Him make my story an incredible reflection of His glory.  Of course, that is the intention.  Some days, I'm sure He rips pages out of the book, crumples them, and weeps that I messed things up.  But the good news is, every day is new, a new chance to add new sentences and paragraphs and chapters to the story that is my life, mine and God's.  I like that thought.
Join us at FMF and tell YOUR story.
www.lisajobaker.com

On Just Being A Mommy...

Today I was really tired.  Tired of therapy sessions and parenting classes.  Tired of trying so hard.  Tired of being tired.  Tired of sticker charts, ignoring, time outs, positive attention. 
I just wanted to hug my little boy when he was throwing a tantrum.
I didn't care if it was giving attention to negative behavior.
I just knew he was upset, and I wanted to fix it. 
I don't know everything about parenting a kid on the spectrum, hence all of the classes and therapies, but I know how to love my son and give him a hug.
It wasn't the "right" thing to do, since I was rewarding a tantrum.  I was told so today, in fact. 
But in my head, I said, "Buzz off, lady!  My kid needs a hug." 
I'll work on the rest of my "skills" tomorrow. 
Today, I'm just going to love.

Morning Grumpies and Vertigo

I was sharing some of my life with a dear friend, and she laughed so hard about some of it I just had to post.

First, I took the kids to a really cool park this weekend.  It had a cup that you can sit in and it scoops you up and you start to spin.  Really fast.  Like I-couldn't-stop-and-my-2-year-old-couldn't-help-me fast.  After about 2 looooooong minutes of this, I fell out and immediately wanted to throw up.  Which I couldn't do.  Jackson basically said, "I told you that you wouldn't like it, Mom."  You're right, my dear, that's the understatement of the year!  It is day 3 and I still feel nauseated and not quite myself.  I am getting old.  :)

Second, as a lot of my friends know, I have been trying to get the kids to sleep in their own beds, ummmm, since birth.  It's going really well for me.  I even have parenting class teachers and peers, occupational therapists, and behavioral therapists trying to help me out, to no avail.  Some nights go really well, but I really think it's just random and has nothing to do with the social stories, sticker charts, or promises of goodies in the morning.  Sunday nights, however, are always particularly difficult.  Of course Monday is the morning I have to be up at 5:30 a.m., and the kids must inherently know this.  So as always, last night at 3:30 a.m. Savannah wakes up crying and wanting to be in my bed.  I realize that somehow Jackson is already in my bed.  I put Savannah back in bed, followed by Jackson, and go back into my bed.  It's 4:00 a.m. already, repeat of the same, except this time I accidentally fall asleep in Savannah's bed while I'm trying to get her to go back to sleep.  5:00 a.m., I try to get Jackson into his bed, but really I'm thinking, "What's the point?" as I have to wake up in 30 minutes.  5:30 a.m., they are both in my bed, the alarm goes off, I try to lay there for 10 more minutes, as Jackson asks, "Do I get a sticker for staying in my bed all night?"  Are you kidding me, son!!!???  As I calmly say no and try to explain why, he goes ballistic, starts crying and screaming, and incidentally head butts me in the nose.  I'm a bit of an exaggerator when it comes to being injured, so I scream, but it really did hurt.  So that makes it worse, it's 5:45 a.m., JW has the pillow over his head, both kids are crying and screaming, and I think I broke my nose.  Which I didn't.  Great morning.  And now I'm laughing, but I'm exhausted because I've stayed up too late.  We'll see what happens tonight...